Distant hills and the wrong road
We all really need someone to talk to.
Samil reveals his feelings and expresses his thoughts, saying “Sometimes you can’t distinguish between facts and fiction. I wish things could have happened just as quickly as they do in fiction. And would I find a substitute for reality if I migrated to the planet of imagination?”
“My experience about drowning. On this afternoon in May, the Saturday skies were gray and there were a few vacationers on the beach as if swimming in the sea water was unsafe. I made sure not to show my friend A. I am not good at swimming in the sea. A reckless adventure. Driven by delusions.
I felt that the current of the sea was exerting irresistible pressure on my exhausted body, pulling me relentlessly into deep waters, and that hope to return to shore had turned into despair of poor quality. ”
What is left of those days?
“I sometimes wondered what would happen to me if no one had let me go. Everything in my life was different from what it is now. What was discouraging me?” The Jamaican singer says in a nostalgic voice, impatient: “Stop this train, I’ll leave. All my good life I have been a lonely man. I haven’t found happiness yet. ”A British singer says,“ Now the night train is waiting to take me away and I still feel guilty that you want me to stay. ” They are like most people, they can’t help but go somewhere. But as for as I am concerned, I am keen to stay. If I knew what separation means, I should have stayed. But I am without a mind, certainly delusional, narrow-minded, have a limited vision, And it is difficult to treat. »
I feel like I’m walking on quicksand. Fear that cannot be subjected to silence.
I’m trying to go up the far hill. Can I find my way around this country? I became weak-willed.
« How did you feel when you left early in the morning, shortly after sunrise? »
« I started packing my clothes in the two suitcases. The hour of return to the continent is approaching. I am like like a broken machine. I have become a stranger to my country. Obviously I do not want to return. If I could stay here for another day or two. Very soon you would be out of sight. I am exhausted, and I long for a pause. I want to catch my breath. I set out from the house on a long day trip. Sometimes I wonder what would happen to me if no one had let me go. Everything in my life was different from what it is now. What discouraged me? The taxi is waiting to take me to the airport. My nephews always accompany me to and see me off at that strange place. When it appears on the horizon, my heart irresistibly started beating. My heart beats very quickly when I see the waves racing to the sand on the shore of the densely populated city. It seems to me that it is threatening me. Departure is very frustrating. And it’s hard to take. »
Samil has many memories of people, places and all kinds of things.
« I have a happy memory. At the beginning of the summer, on Saturday, all the family members were anxiously waiting for their return. They were allowed out of prison. They returned to their bases safely, » according to the Arabic radio during the war.
They have been accused of burning hay near a house. At least five men do what one man can do. They were charged wrongly. In fact, the charge was just one of those filthy tricks on the part of the most despicable people to get these men to submit to his will. The one who is in authority and acts in illegal way.
My father and my uncles did their best to fill our need for freedom and security.
Imprisonment for people who have committed crimes or anything that has major consequences not for innocent people who have different opinions and just want to live in peace. It does not seem convincing to outlaws. And how many of them are.
We were young, but we realized the injustice in a country that drove out the colonizer not long ago. Among the freed were those innocent men who were thrown into prison. »
« I wished to be someone else and became lonely but I am trying to ignore my loneliness, but to no avail. The transformation has occurred, I have been vaguely aware of it, and it is time to return to the way I was before. »
Now I can’t help but see them in my dreams and I have to wait but how long do I have to wait? Give up? No, this is unacceptable, impossible! We will definitely meet soon.
I was in the hills far away, so I couldn’t share her pain and her crying. And I am the reason for that. The project turned into a permanent and terrifying nightmare. And its folly is getting more evident every day. The days are getting foggy and the sun cannot be seen. »
Upon listening to this song, I immediately feel the extent of loneliness, unable to find a way out, a way home, and salvation. I wondered how I hadn’t burst into tears. To ease the sadness that filled my heart for a long time.
I remember my friend Samil saying:
“You will never be able to put the country in which I live on a map because it is my home even if you know the latitude and longitude. Its inhabitants are the people I love, not those who hurt me. It is my only sanctuary free from hypocrites and racists, filthy outlaw infiltrators, hateful, populists, enemies of democracy and peace, thieves of all kinds, lazy and settlers, oppressors, greedy, pedophiles, exploiters, colonialists, extremists and home destroyers who do not care to tears of children, displacement of families, hateful and bad teachers who bully young students by showing their complete ignorance of inefficiency in caring for young people. Unchallenged conscience.
In my country you are allowed to daydream there and you are allowed to make mistakes and learn at your own pace.
Who are these bastards? Who let them out? And now they are killing without being punished. But they think they will get away with it. No way! Punishment must be proportional to the crime. »
My friend said that more than a year ago he read a novel by a writer from the Republic of Ireland (which capital is Dublin) and found evidence of evil. He continued, saying:
“Two of the protagonists have a conversation *:“ What a terrible story. I hope in Hell there is a place for people who treat children this way. »
« I thought you didn’t believe in hell. »
« This situation is an exception. » Page 87. ». That is why I read the novel.
Silence and frustration
“I wonder how we get used to accepting things in our lives. The answer is only because we are weak despite our strong will. We never forget that we are sad and hopeless and this feeling grows with the passage of time. Memory is a gift as precious as life.
The fact that my sister no longer asks me when I will « come to see us » and I feel sad about her silence. I know it’s so frustrating. But what can I do? I feel very lonely and helpless. We are looking for ways to deliver dreams and wishes quickly and safely. But I am pleased with her great belief. She trusts in God. »
Have you ever been waiting all night for daylight and dawn to come? I now feel that life is like surfing a book. A beginning, and a short or long path leads to an end. Ill-advised moves. Relieving their suffering as they could no longer bear the brunt of it. Neglect hurts the heart.
What does fear result from?
Family and work have been central to my life. Something that I cannot express makes me afraid of life more and more as much as I believe that I cannot deal effectively with problems like most people.
I cannot bear to contemplate what my brothers have been suffering for over six decades. Relieving their suffering because they can no longer bear it. Water makes its way into the rock at every moment and the rock, no matter how solid, ends up giving up.
Who is to blame? As a result of not fighting the despicable enemy and his despicable allies in time. Neglect hurts the heart. What can lift our collective spirits?
“Feeling guilt is a parasite that will eat you alive, but only if you leave it,” p. 51, Sandra Brown, Tough Agent, 2010, Pocket Books.
Life without them?
I never expected that one day I would say that I couldn’t imagine life without them. I should have enjoyed every moment with them.
Among Samil’s grieving problems, I would mention those that are faced by the Palestinian people and which have not hurt their dignity despite ongoing hostility against them for decades, but rather have strengthened their faith, and thus their adherence to patience and sacrifice for near victory.
Palestinian children have the right to aspire to a prosperous future, and we must help them achieve their dreams and aspirations, which are in fact the dreams and aspirations of all children without exception.
Palestinian children deserve respect and compassion as any child around the globe.
I’ve looked at the Palestinian school curriculum, especially in English for children. Reading the curriculum, I was impressed when I looked at some of the lessons that deal with everyday life in a country. I thought at the time that Palestinian students were deprived of the opportunity to learn and acquire knowledge in better conditions, like most children around the world.
I fear for their safety.
However, I am confident and I know that education will benefit them. This means that they are getting rid of evils. The Palestinian authorities have the right to create curricula they deem appropriate for youth. So, please do not stick your nose in the actions and the educational projects of the Palestinian people. Think about it better and help them deal with their problems. This would be the best contribution to a fairer world for youth.
One cannot help but ask those who robbed them of the opportunity to learn and live in peace.
Do you remember Friday evening when you ran to meet your beloved mother and all of your deep depression dissipated then?
Samil reveals his feelings and expresses his thoughts, saying “Sometimes you can’t distinguish between facts and fiction. I wish things could have happened just as quickly as they do in fiction. And would I find a substitute for reality if I migrated to the planet of imagination?” And life resumed its beautiful pace?